Okay okay. Look. We're all eukaryotes here -- many of us somewhat mature. And yes, we don't know why we (as individuals) don't always take care of ourselves. And part of what makes life interesting and rewarding is doing kind and pleasurable things for others. But why depend on loved ones to take care of your own rather basic needs, and get indignant when your expectations are too great? If you're diabetic, tote insulin and peppermints in your fanny pack! Deathly allergic to bees? Keep an epi in your medicine cabinet or vagina (or penis; I certainly don't mean to make this a gender issue*). Simple god damn concept.
Your loved one would much rather spend his or her fleeting moments (we really don't live that long) working hard to give you a roaring orgasm, or perhaps composing a symphonic arrangement of a Crosby, Stills, & Douchebag song as a gift for you. Or Cat Stevens. That guy was cool.
Addendum: this is not about my girlfriend, who can actually pitch a tent faster than I can and go for longer without water. I can still outrun her, though.
* If you put an epi-pen in your penis, please take a picture. That sounds hilarious.